The Man behind Uncaged

There is the man I used to be and the man I am now.  With that said, there are good things and bad things about that.  Either way, when I first started this blog I posted a couple personal entries and various business entries but it's been some time since I've written anything personal and so I've decided to change that.

I started up Uncaged Motorsports with the help of a friend back in September 2008 and went from a life of living as someone doing what was needed to survive to a man with a passion focused on the passion regardless of the cost.  I lost a lot since then and may continue to lose more in the pursuit of doing what I want and enjoy doing.  For the most part, people around me have no idea of my challenges due to the fact that I smile and am happy and today I thought about that a bit.

It came across my mind that I don't spend much time with friends and how much I don't like that.  Curious why my brain focused on that fact at the million miles a second it normally runs and it spotted that my stresses and maintenance of a positive attitude causes my "free" time to be consumed trying to escape my world and very little gets done.  I really really want Uncaged Motorsports to succeed and that focus has essentially put me in divorce (obviously, under the circumstances, she didn't "Love" me because Love does not fail) breaking up my family (3 amazing children), lost me my awesome truck (2005 Ford F150 Lariat Crew Cab), my house and much of my sanity.

After less than a year of opening the wife left due to stress because finances were extremely tight due to spending all money on the shop to get it going and grow it.  I lost everything else not because she took it but because my source of income was my own business and I was now spending so much of my time trying to save my marriage including flying to Alaska (where she ran off to and hooked up with an old friend) to get her to come back.  Roughly a year after that all started, I had to give up on the business just to keep my head above water (plus I didn't have a place to run the business anymore since I lost the house to the bank).

I went to work as a Waiter at Wingers restaurant and lived off the tips primarily, because child support took 50% of my paycheck.  Then a man, whom I feel I now owe way more than I could ever pay back, contacted me about working on his Benelli motorcycle because of several people recommending me and made me an offer of working to get the business going out of his shop free of rent.  This was an opportunity I could not pass up because getting the shop going is definitely something I wanted and even though I felt I wasn't financially ready, a free shop was offered and so it started.  The downfall is that I really wasn't ready financially and still had too many debts that I accrued through the past and now I'm back to running the shop which some months cost me to do even with free rent.  Now I'm working nights at Roosters Steak and Chop house (Wingers fired me due to complications in scheduling and Roosters is only open at nights) and some of that money earned goes towards growing Uncaged, the kids spending time with me, paying debts and current bills.

Now, the time has come that I have to find a shop of my own and I'm having a hard time finding the financial means to make that happen but I also do not want to give up on Uncaged.  I truly feel I can make this work and that it would already be doing fairly well if I had the funds to have a sign made, do a little local advertising and so forth.  So I am at a crossroads of decisions and I feel like I'm falling apart due to the type of stress it is causing me.  I am currently homeless and have been since a great guy was helping me out by allowing me to live with him until he found a special someone and is now married to that person.  So I've been sleeping in my car, the shop, and with my cousin.  And I feel like I could possibly, with lots of hard work and little to no play, afford to pay rent but I cannot come up with deposit and such in the time frame that I have.

Homeless and a bit battered up I still manage to keep my self positive but at the cost of not having a best friend or many friends at all that I can manage the time to hang out with and stay connected with.  So often I have to deal with my brain telling me how much of a failure I am and that I can't accomplish anything and that I don't deserve anyone special in my life.  I expend lots of time and energy in staving off those thoughts that it's taking away from more important things that I could accomplish.

In conclusion, I need to make a decision, possibly a very difficult one for me and one that could create a stronger sense of failure, in order to save myself financially and mentally.

Well, time to get back to it.  Thanks for listening to me vent some very substantial information out of my own necessity.

Laundry Day

Saturday I had to suck it up and get laundry done or go without clean clothes.  So, I just sat around and did nothing............   LOL   Just kidding.  My son, Anthony, had his friends birthday party to go to and Elizabeth and Hailey came to hang out with me.  So, we all went and did laundry together, every kids dream.  Of course we went and played around in Fred Meyers, got some food and drinks and made it fun.  Here are a couple pictures of the fun we had:

On the way back, walking to the shop (Uncaged), Hailey nearly ran the whole way.  Anytime we walk anywhere she is insisting on running.  She tries to get everyone running and of course I make sure to let her win the running races and get the kids to do the same except on occassion they get to win too.  :)

Before the trip to do laundry, Hailey wasn't feeling good and had thrown up so Elizabeth and I let her sleep while we played some games.  I sure hope they both enjoyed themselves.  A lot of the times that they spend with me, I'm at the shop and doing stuff "fun" isn't easy.  I'll have to do some more activity stuff with them.

James



Kiddos ~ Bowling :)

Had a chance to get together with the kids yesterday.  They spent a bit of time here at the shop, Uncaged Motorsports, with me.  Helped me clean up and remove some tires (handed me tools) from a little Suzuki TU250X (very cool little bike).  After that we got a bite to eat and then headed to the bowling alley.  Anthony beat me in the first game, little brat.  I'm out of practice lol.

I mean really? 102 points is all I got?  And that little brat that's about to be 8 got 116?  We had a great time and Epicenter here in Klamath Falls was hooking us up with such a great deal that we bowled another game.  However, in the second game I beat that monster but our scores weren't as high as the first game, wth, and I only beat him by 1.  And Hailey (4) beat her sister (9) in the first but it flipped in the second too.  Of course, Hailey was using the rolling assist device they had there too  lol.

It was very cool to be able to get out bowling with the kids.  A great friend just happened to show up and bowled next to us as well.  Such a great time.  We have to go more often so that I can get some practice in and show that dang boy who the real bowler is lmao.  Get out bowling and have fun too, till next time, Peace  :)

Being "Daddy"

It's funny that "now~a~days" I can think back to when I was a kid and unlike most people, I have not become a totally different person by being a dad.  When we were kids, our parents would want us to go to bed early so that we got lots of sleep and wouldn't be a pain to wake up in the morning.  Or to be extra careful when doing anything so we wouldn't get hurt.  Well, I was never very good at listening to those sorts of things.  I was very anti-social and did not have many friends but I rode my bicycle all over and there was never any "being careful" about it.  Cross the street through traffic, ride along the creek bed, jump off dirt hills as high as I could, do other stupid things that often seemed like I was purposely trying to hurt myself.  It was all a part of my growing up I guess :)

Anyway, as a Dad, I don't express all those concerns to my children.  Last night their mom dropped them off with me as soon as I got home from work around 7 or so.  Shortly after getting here they remembered that I had asked them to bring their pillows this time but they had forgotten and therefore did not have their pillows.  So, about 7:30 (which is 30 minutes before their bedtime with their mom) we set out for Wal-Mart to buy them pillows and since I have no car, we set out on foot.  I also decided that on our way I would treat them to desert at my workplace for having to walk so far.  Not long after walking (to the end of the street) one of them mentioned bedtime and I realized, oh oh, I'm going to have them up a bit later than their normal bedtime since it's a school night!  Great job DAD!!!  Not to mention the major streets we crossed without ever coming close to the crosswalk and the number of people that thought, "What the fuck is that guy doing walking his 3 kids across the street like that?"  I'm teaching them my ways and it does not go by the ways of society! 

It was a very pleasant walk.  We got to listen to frogs croak which they loved and my little Hailey Bailey saw the first star of the night and went on and on about how amazing that was and how it was coming to give her life.  *~ Side Note: I really need to keep a little notebook on me and write down some of the stuff she says.  ~*  LMAO (8:28), she just woke up in fact, literally, and said, "Dad, my skin is gone!"  Not making this up!  :)  Add in(8:35): "Dad, now we need to find a frog and listen to it"

We got to Wingers and went to our normal spot and Dad ordered a 22oz Porter and they got one Kiwi Lemonade and two Raspberry Lemonades.  Then I told Tosh to put a "Zookie" in for me.  When she brought out the pile of goodness the kids got very wide eyed with amazement.  It made it all worth it!!  Then we walked across the large parking lot and headed for the pillows.  Checking each one out, I grabbed one and Anthony says, "it's so soft, it's like a cloud.  My head is just going to fall right through!"  LOL  3 pillows and pillow covers and $50 later we're headed out the door and both Anthony and Elizabeth insisted on helping and were each carrying a pillow and did for the entire walk.  Can't be much happier as a father.  Well, we got home about 10 o-clock and I got their bed ready (right next to mine) and put all their pillows into pillow cases and off to bed!  Hailey was asleep first and I put a silly movie on for the older two.  Anthony was next and it was about 11:45 when he finally went to sleep and Elizabeth waited till about 12:15.  This morning, they woke up without problem and got ready for school!  I took them to the bus stop and then got back and started writing this post.  All a success!  :)

I'm not sure if society would agree with me or not, but I know that I am an amazing Father.  The kids seem to agree.  Thanks for reading!!

Dad

Anthony just reminded me that on our walk we got to see an owl!  It was just sitting on a power line directly above the street where we were walking.  We got pretty close before it decided to fly away!  The kids thought that was pretty darn cool and Elizabeth started discussing how some animals are nocturnal.  Great times!  :)

Darn Kids :)

The kids have been bugging the ex once again to come stay the night with their Dad!  Dad, me, has been around them most days but staying the night again is what they just had to have apparently.  So, they're here with me and we just finished eating pizza.  Yummy.  I took a couple pictures to post up here:

1.  First one is them laying on the floor popping bubbles (Sorry, cell phone pics are not very good quality lol )

2. All of us trying to get close enough to get the whole group in the picture :)

So, there you go!  Me and the kiddos goofing off!  Now it's time to relax before bedtime so we're going to watch a movie.  Hope they like it and hope the go to sleep as well as they usually do when they're here with me!  Usually, however, I don't do well sleeping.  I guess I should hope for me to get some decent sleep tonight!  :)

Have a great night everyone and sleep well,
James